Struggle between the today and coming-soon 'tomorrow'

Its a 'milk in the cupboard & sugar in the fridge' kind of a day today. When I sit back and take a break for a while,  I think on how life is and what life has been in the past few years for me..

Drifting away from family and coming to an all new city to pursue future endeavors was a difficult task to do but I've realized that thats exactly what I wanted to do of my life. Dreaming big, aspiring high and making most of my life. And that's how I was ready to take the new course of life in my hands and begin a new journey. Over the past four years theres a lot that has come my way and much more that has gone away..

Being a part of a hostel life, eating untimely, spending almost sleepless nights, sipping coffee after midnight, long drives, and everything in the initial years of a bachelor life was just so happening. And today being at a position like this makes it even more valuable. A non-existent romantic life, a shady job, meeting expenses almost everywhere, managing a home, tolerating unwanted people, abiding by a few decisions and yearning for that something that will make all of this struggle worthwhile.. I think it is perhaps OK to cry out and feel light. If you cannot find a way then atleast you should cry out and feel numb. I've been told by my best friend to sometimes just cry and let it out rather then live with a heavy heart. It is perfect to behave in a certain way if you cannot control the situation by yourself. Not that crying out is as it is gonna change anything but atleast you can feel at ease.

I know for sure that tomorrow when i'll turn back and take a sneak peak into today i'm going to laugh it out loud about the situation i am facing today. I know that tomorrow its going to be all fine and smooth. I am absolutely sure that better days are on its way and i AM going to be at peace soon but the scenario today is taking me over. Restlessness has become my best buddy these days. Things are not going as I plan but things are going abrupt from all ends. Perhaps just to be is what I can do..

I am looking forward be in that 'someday' and take a walk down the memory lane and laugh out thoroughly on today - on the fuck ups that happened, on the miserable situations, various encounters with insanity, on my emotional turbulence, on my search and on almost everything that I can perhaps lay my hands on.

Till then cheers to life!